Peff (peffkitten) wrote in autismoinspace,
Peff
peffkitten
autismoinspace

ACKNOWLEDGE

When I was little, my dad would always say to me...

"Acknowledge..."

because sometimes he would talk to me and I would give him no sign that I had heard him. I've mentioned this in here before - it's a very common Aspie trait. Again I stress that it's not rudeness, and it's not intended to offend at all. Sometimes I don't respond because my mind is concentrating on something else (maybe I'm reading something, maybe I'm trying to listen to something on TV or radio, maybe there's something visually interesting in my line of sight that I find quite absorbing...) Sometimes I don't respond because I think it's obvious to the other person that I heard what they said, so there's no need to react. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the information they've given me and my expression stays blank while I try and assimilate what thye've said. And sometimes I think I have acknowledged them, but not realised that my actions were inadequate to their needs.

Sometimes I've been in a conversation and a remark has been directed at me, and I have made a slight gesture to show acknowledgment (like a smile for example), only to discover that everyone's attention has become fixed on me because they think I haven't properly responded...

I was talking about this to Greg, my new boyfriend. He said that out of all my autistic traits, the lack of acknowledgement was the only one that had troubled him. Like most NTs he would mistake my silence for disinterest, but now he knows the reasons behind it. He also knows that if he really wants a verbal response from me, he just has to tag a question on the end of the phrase... eg "Don't you think so, Peff?"
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